Online Therapy vs In-Person Therapy: Which Is Right for You?
- Ben Jones
- Apr 17
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 20
Therapy has never been more accessible than it is today. Whether you’re working through long-standing emotional patterns or navigating something more immediate, one of the first questions you might face is:
Should I see a therapist online, or in person?
As someone who practises ISTDP both online and face-to-face, I get asked this a lot. And the honest answer is, it depends on you.
Both formats can be effective. The key is choosing the setting that helps you feel safe enough to do the emotional work.
Let’s look at what each approach offers, and how to decide what’s right for you.
The Benefits of In-Person Therapy
There’s something uniquely powerful about being in the same room with another person who’s fully present with you. In-person therapy can offer:
1. A dedicated space for you
Coming into a therapy office means stepping away from your usual surroundings. That physical boundary can help you settle more deeply into the session and create a stronger emotional container for the work.
2. Subtle non-verbal cues
While online therapy allows us to see and hear each other, there are certain cues — posture, breath, shifts in energy, that are easier to track in person. In ISTDP, where emotional attunement is central, this can make a difference.
That said, these signals can be worked with online, it just requires a bit more verbal tracking and collaboration.
3. Fewer technical issues
There’s no risk of Wi-Fi dropouts, audio glitches, or frozen screens. When therapy gets intense, uninterrupted focus can be helpful.
The Benefits of Online Therapy
Online therapy has made psychotherapy accessible to more people than ever and there are real advantages:
1. Ease and flexibility
No commute. No parking. No worrying about running late. If you have a full schedule, health concerns, or live far from the therapist you connect with, online sessions remove a lot of barriers.
2. Comfort in your own space
Many people find it easier to open up when they’re at home, curled up on the sofa or in a space that feels safe and familiar. That sense of groundedness can actually enhance the therapeutic process.
3. Consistency during transitions
Whether you’re travelling, moving, or just navigating a busy season of life, online therapy lets you maintain the continuity of your work from anywhere.
Does ISTDP Work Online?
Yes, it absolutely can.
While ISTDP is a relational, emotionally focused therapy, its core principles, identifying and working through defences, accessing core emotional truths, tracking anxiety and bodily responses, translate well to the online space.
What really matters is:
The quality of the therapeutic relationship
Your willingness to engage emotionally
Having a space (virtual or physical) that feels secure enough to go there
Many of my clients find they’re able to do deep and transformative work online, just as they would in person.
How to Choose What’s Right for You
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It comes down to what helps you feel most present, open, and able to commit to the work.
Consider:
Do you feel more emotionally focused in a therapist’s office, or more relaxed in your own space?
Would travelling regularly be a stressor, or does it give the process more structure?
Which format feels sustainable for you right now?
You can always try one option and see how it feels. It’s not a final decision, just a starting point.
Final Thoughts
Both online and in-person therapy offer powerful ways to heal, grow, and reconnect with yourself.
What matters most is not where you sit, but whether you feel safe, seen, and supported.
If you’re considering therapy and unsure which format is right for you, I’d be happy to talk it through.
