Online Therapy vs In-Person Therapy: Which Is Right for You?

Therapy has never been more accessible than it is today. Whether you’re working through long-standing emotional patterns or navigating life’s more immediate challenges, one of the first decisions you’ll likely face is this: Should I see my therapist online, or in person?

As someone who practices ISTDP both in person and online, I often get asked which is better—and the honest answer is, it really depends on you. Both formats can be deeply effective. What matters most is how you feel most comfortable showing up for the work.

Let’s explore the benefits of each, and see what might resonate with you.

The Benefits of In-Person Therapy

There’s something powerful about being in the same room with another human being who’s fully present with you. In-person therapy can offer:

1. A dedicated, focused space:

Coming into a therapy office means stepping into a space that’s just for you—free from the distractions of home or work. That physical separation can help you settle in more deeply and feel more contained during sessions.

2. More nuanced non-verbal communication:

While online sessions allow us to see each other’s faces and hear tone, there’s often a richness in the non-verbal that’s easier to pick up in person—things like subtle shifts in posture, energy, or breathing. These cues are important in ISTDP, where the therapist’s attunement plays a key role in helping you connect with your emotional truth. I have found that more communication around this is needed online to manage this difference.

3. Fewer technical hiccups:

No frozen screens or Wi-Fi dropouts. In-person sessions can feel more fluid and uninterrupted, which can be especially helpful when the work gets emotionally deep or intense.

The Benefits of Online Therapy

That said, online therapy has opened doors for so many people—and there are real advantages to this format:

1. Convenience and accessibility:

No commute, no parking, no rushing across town. Whether you’re juggling a full schedule, have health or mobility concerns, or simply live further from a therapist you connect with, online sessions can make therapy more doable.

2. Comfort in your own space:

Some people find it easier to open up when they’re in familiar surroundings—maybe curled up on the couch with a cup of tea, or in a room that feels safe and private. If being in your own space helps you feel grounded, online therapy can support that.

3. Continuity, even during transitions:

Whether you’re traveling, moving, or going through a period of change, being able to log in for a session from anywhere helps you stay consistent with your therapeutic process.

Can ISTDP Really Work Online?

Yes, it can. While ISTDP is often very emotionally focused and relational, the heart of the work—getting underneath defences and connecting with core emotional truths—doesn’t depend on being in the same physical room.

In fact, many people find that they can go just as deep online, especially when they feel safe and supported in the process. What really matters is the strength of the therapeutic relationship, your willingness to engage, and a space (virtual or physical) that feels secure enough to do the work.

How to Choose What’s Right for You

There’s no perfect answer—just what fits you best right now. Here are a few things to consider:

• Do you feel more emotionally present and focused in a therapist’s office, or do you feel more at ease in your own environment?

• Is it practical for you to travel regularly, or would the flexibility of online sessions support you better?

• Which option feels like something you could consistently commit to?

You can always try one format and see how it feels—and switch later if needed. It’s not about choosing the “right” method forever, but about finding what works for you in this season of your life.

Final Thoughts

Both online and in-person therapy offer powerful ways to heal, grow, and reconnect with yourself. If you’re curious about working together and not sure which format would suit you best, I’m always happy to have a conversation about it.

The most important thing is that you feel safe, seen, and supported—wherever you’re sitting.

Feel free to reach out if you’d like to explore starting therapy, or if you just have questions. I’d love to hear from you. you can get in touch here.